


paradise

by sadie18



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hogwarts Inter-House Unity, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, pansy centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-27 13:36:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19013980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadie18/pseuds/sadie18
Summary: The first time Hermione spoke to Pansy was about five weeks into term. At their table, in the corner of the library, hidden by the books and shelves that had been salvaged."I forgive you." She had murmured quietly, and Pansy almost broke her neck at the speed it came up to look at her.Brown eyes to brown eyes. Woman to woman. Coward to hero."I do." She said, fidgeting with her quill. "Don't think I haven't seen you in the towers. I notice everything."Pansy nodded, and the small smile Hermione gave her meant everything and even more.





	paradise

**Author's Note:**

> come chat w me on tumblr @oliivverwood x
> 
> also lmao this is lowkey a vent but like not really because this has a happy ending

Pansy had been revered, once.

Once, before the war, when she was rich, the Parkinson name was something to be proud of, she had friends that loved her, and everything was  _right._

Paradise, once. 

Now, it was  _after_ the war, and everything- literally,  _everything_ \- had gone to shit.

To make matters worse, her mum had made  _sure_ she finish her education. She had to come back for an eighth year, no questions asked. 

But her mother would never understand what being in that castle was like, after the memories came swimming back, after she could point out where bodies lay and where people pointed their wand at others with no mercy. 

It had been a few months, boarding back in the castle, and the feeling ebbed away a little more with every day she attended classes, and every day where she kept her head down. 

_Oh,_ how the mighty fell.

* * *

It had been two weeks into first term when Hermione Granger first sat at the little table in the corner of the library, where Pansy had sat religiously, for hours on end.

She didn't say anything, only nodded at her, and set her books down.

There would have been a time when Pansy would sneer, ask her what the fuck she was doing, who the fuck she thought she was, but now Pansy just nodded ashamedly back.

And it went like that, and for three weeks after, they didn't say a word to each other. Just nods. Brown eyes to brown eyes. Girl to girl.

Well, after a war, it would be woman to woman. 

Coward to hero. 

Remembering how she had so eagerly given up Harry's name brought a sour taste to Pansy's mouth. Like bile at the back of her throat. It felt awfully like shame. 

This memory came back too often for Pansy's liking.

When Pansy felt ashamed, she would go to the parts of Hogwarts that weren't fixed yet. Parts of the castle that still had walls in shambles, with broken frames, and shattered windows. And she'd rebuild. 

McGonagall didn't know. Nobody knew. Nobody would care. She owed it to the world to start rebuilding all that she broke, anyways.

* * *

Pansy noted, on the fourth week, that Hermione was a pretty girl. But of course, all heroes were supposed to be good looking, charming, clever. The sour taste came back when she remembered the terrible things she'd say to everyone when she was younger. Things like, "Granger, the beaver dam is a few miles from here!" or "Granger, does your shoulder pop out in every class, teacher's bitch?" or "Granger, you dirty  _mudblood._ "

When she thought about these things, her heart started to ache, a dull pain that was still uncomfortable, and always would be.

But yes, Hermione Granger had grown into those beaver teeth, and her arms were muscular after survival in the woods and on the run. And she'd embraced her so called dirty blood, and had accepted the title of "Brightest Witch Alive."

And every Hermione sat down, Pansy would flick her eyes up and scan her, up and down, and jolt her head back down and fight back her blush.

Eighth year wasn't a place for those feelings.

* * *

Sometimes, Draco would come with her to rebuild. Today, it was one of the abandoned towers. 

This was one of the only times Pansy would voluntarily speak.

"Draco," Pansy had mumbled once, embarrassed. "Do you think people will ever forgive me?"

It felt like a stupid question, redundant and useless coming out of her mouth, and she readied herself for the look of pity Draco would give her.

A firm "yes" was what she heard. She looked to her best friend and he was nodding at nothing. "It was a painful time for everyone. You were scared. Now, it's a time for forgiveness. It will all blow over."

And they then returned to the silence they were used to.

* * *

The first time Hermione spoke to Pansy was about five weeks into term. At their table, in the corner of the library, hidden by the books and shelves that had been salvaged.

"I forgive you." She had murmured quietly, and Pansy almost broke her neck at the speed it came up to look at her.

Brown eyes to brown eyes. Woman to woman. Coward to hero.

"I do." She said, fidgeting with her quill. "Don't think I haven't seen you in the towers. I notice everything."

Pansy nodded, and the small smile Hermione gave her meant everything and even more.

* * *

After that, they began to  _actually_ talk. It was once redundant things, like homework, or sharing books, or how Harry had tripped down the stairs on Monday. Things like that. And they  _never_ spoke outside of the library.

Then slightly less useless things came about, like how Hermione and Ron broke up because they were reminded of war with each other; how Draco and Harry would dance around each other, not knowing what to do once the hate was gone; or how they were both going to join the rebuilding efforts after they graduated.

Then redundant things became all important things. Things like how the Weasleys were holding up, or how a couple of sixth years tried to curse her, or how Pansy felt knowing that the entire Wizarding World was against her.

"I'm not against you." Hermione said, with the little smile again.

It still meant everything and more, and Pansy knew this time, from the little flutter in her chest.

* * *

Pansy looked at herself in the mirror. She looked tired, which was nothing new. 

She tilted her head to one side. Then the other.

She needed a change. 

She used her wand, her magic, to pierce her ears, first. It stung a bit, but it was far from the worse she'd felt in the past. It felt liberating, this sort of pain.

Then she decided to double up on her ears. 

Then she pierced her nose. A tight ring fit snugly, and she smiled. It felt like her face had cracked open.

Then she cut her hair. Just above her shoulders. Bangs to match. 

When Pansy looked at the final product, she felt more alive then she had in a while.

* * *

It might have been Pansy's recently hopeful demeanour talking, but she though Hermione may have  _appreciated_ her new look.

"I like it." She commented nonchalantly. "It reminds me of you before."

Pansy winced. Not what she was going for. Hermione saw her reaction and flustered. 

"Not what I meant! I mean it in a- in a good way." She corrected. "When things were- normal. You were always the woman surrounded by boys. If you know what I mean. Stronger than the rest of them."

Pansy knew. Hermione was a woman surrounded by boys as well. It wasn't easy, wasn't rewarding. But it was natural. 

"Thanks." Pansy smiled in public for the first time in a while, and she hoped it meant something to the girl in front of her.

* * *

6 months into term, Harry and Draco had become proper friends. Officially. In public.

And Pansy had never been happier for him. 

With every day that passed, Pansy felt the heaviness in her chest lighten a bit. She allowed herself to smile, even chuckle in Hermione's presence, which was sometimes in public, now. She had apologised to Harry, face to face, which had been emotional, but they'd  _hugged._

"You know," Pansy whispered to Hermione, in the Great Hall. All the Eighth years sat together, and nobody had tried to jinx Pansy in weeks. "I've always thought Draco's obsession with Potter was a little weird for  _enemies._ "

Hermione brightened up. "He was obsessed too? You don't even  _know_ the extent of Harry's constant muttering about Draco. Malfoy this, Malfoy that."

They giggled, which had Harry send a strange look their way, but he went back to chatting amicably with Draco soon after.

It was moments like this, that Pansy had some hope for forgiveness. 

* * *

"What do you want to do, after school's done?" Hermione whispered, even though there was no-one around. They were lying on the pitch, needing some fresh air after studying so much. Their mock NEWTS were soon, and the stress was getting to them.

The old Hermione wouldn't even sleep for days before exams. Now, Hermione calmly did nothing with Pansy. 

"Dunno." Pansy said. "Rebuild the castle. Rebuild the family name."

"After that, muppet." Hermione said. "Like, as a career. Marriage? Kids?"

Pansy sighed. "It used to be an arranged marriage with Draco. Now, my father's dead, and my mum doesn't care. Maybe I'll go into the ministry. I'd like to fix some things."

"Oh yeah?" Hermione propped herself up to look at Pansy. "Like what?"

"Well, I dunno. Maybe look into pre-education before Hogwarts. Have witches and wizards learn about muggles. How they're not bad. Teach them some respect." Pansy laughed bitterly. "Wish I was taught some of that when I was a kid." 

"Hey, now." Hermione said, and she pushed a lock of Pansy's chopped hair behind her ear. Pansy stopped breathing. "Don't dwell on the past. All you can do is look to the future."

"Yeah." Pansy choked, then tried to play it cool. "Marriage? My gran will probably set me up with some rich man from France that doesn't know about my history. Have a couple runts."

And like that, the moment was over. Hermione's hand fell to her lap, and Pansy was almost excited to hear the disappointment in Hermione's "oh."

* * *

The happiest day of Pansy's life was the day before they graduated.

The Eighth years were hosting a party, in the Gryffindor common room. All houses, all years,  _everyone_ was invited. 

"A show of house unity," Ginny had said with a flourish, "if you will."

Ginny had been very kind to Pansy too. Ginny was always a character Pansy admired from afar. She beat the boys, beat the girls, beat Death Eaters, and she was a winner. 

Pansy like winners.

She glanced at Hermione.

"There will be  _plenty,"_ Harry and Draco stumbled in, holding large crates of booze. "Of drinks."

"And!" Luna finished, "it will be a great time."

Pansy hadn't been to a party since before Draco started muttering about family duty in sixth year. She had been by her boys' side through it all, through Draco's family crisis, through every single one of Blaise's new stepfathers, when Theo's mom was put into a mental facility. 

They had been by her's, too. Mostly. Somewhat.

By the time the party was in full swing, Pansy was comfortable. She had something to drink, a mixer Draco had forced into her hands, and a few minutes prior, she had seen Draco and Harry leave the room. She smiled.  _It's about time, anyways._

She spotted Hermione, and made her way over.

The other girl looked gorgeous, as always. Her cheeks were flush with alcohol, her eyes glazed slightly, and her curls fell softly and bounced as she moved. 

"Pansy!" She slurred, lunging towards her. "Hi!"

"Hey." Pansy smiled softly. 

"I need to tell you something!" Hermione whispered. "But it's a secret! Okay! I-"

"Beer pong!" Someone cheered, and Pansy lost Hermione in the rush of people. Pansy felt her ribcage pounding and her head started to swim. What did Hermione need to say?

It was about an hour later till Pansy found Hermione again, and they were both significantly more drunk, meaning that Hermione was  _smashed._

"Pansy!" She sounded a little crazed, a little angry. The party had slowed a bit, but it was still loud enough that nobody would hear. 

"Pansy!" She put her hands on her hips, which looked a little silly, considering how small and drunk she was. "I need to tell you something!"

"Yes." Pansy said, amused. "I'm listening."

"You  _can't_ get married to some random French guy who doesn't know your history!" She announced, and Pansy's smile fell a bit. "And you don't even  _like_ kids enough to have any of your own!"

"What are you trying to say?" Pansy crossed her arms over. 

"I'm  _saying-_ " Hermione hiccupped. "That  __ _I_ like you, even  _with_ your history, and  _I_ don't like kids that much either! You should marry  _me_ instead."

Pansy's mouth dropped, but nothing came out. Hermione looked at her expectantly, petulantly, but Pansy couldn't get the words out.

_I love you. You're the best thing that's happened to me. You got me out a dark place. You get me. I get_ you.  


Everyone always told her that actions spoke louder than words, anyways, so Pansy grabbed the girl and kissed her.

The pounding in her head drowned out the cheers of the people surrounding them. Ginny smacked Pansy on the back after, gasping jokingly.

Pansy heard Draco say, " _It's about time."_ And when they broke apart, they saw Draco's hand intertwined with Harry's.

"We're not getting married yet." Pansy muttered. Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"It was for emphasis, Parkinson."

She hadn't been very happy for a lot of her life, but this.. 

This felt like paradise, to Pansy.

  


 

 

 


End file.
